Is The Govt. Spying On Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough? »
Posted by: ind06 10 months, 2 weeks agoTHE ONION NEWS NETWORK - In The Know: Panelists discuss ways to care for the nation's paranoid schizophrenics, such as hiding cameras in their homes or audio transmitters in their ears.
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ind0610 months, 2 weeks ago
I know no one's out to get me because the voices tell me to trust the man who lives in the hole in my wall and he says I'm perfectly safe.
As long as I keep the gun loaded.
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KMFDM10 months, 2 weeks ago
that was awsome. I wasnt paying attention and thought this was for real for a moment. Then my rice crispys tip me off that this was satire. Good job, We definately give this story a good vote, and so did I. Now if you dont mind, I have a jar of peanut butter that I have to stick my candy bar in.
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ind0610 months, 2 weeks ago
I agree! And so does the man who lives in my left ear... Except he's been having trouble with the other guy who lives in my left ear. They're not getting along... So he's moving to my right ear.
I'm not crazy!
And my microwave codpiece heater works just fine. There's nothing like a toasty codpiece on a cold winter day.
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2sidestoeverything10 months, 2 weeks ago
Indy the voices in my ear told me that the man who lives in the hole in the wall is really out to get you. He just wants you to think you are self. When the guys in the white suits come over give them the loaded gun and they will put you to sleep for a little while and when you wake up you will have bump on your shoulder, don't be alarmed this is just to make sure that you and all your new voices don't get lost in the house. :~) I need to rest now typing this when five voices are all talking at the same time is tiring.
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LONEEAGLE13710 months, 2 weeks ago
a few years ago a pariniod schezo was asked who is incharge,
he answered "I am.I TELL ME WHAT TO DO BUT I USUALLY END UP DOING IT MYSELF"
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sumptuousdigs10 months, 2 weeks ago
gamahuche. ... Yes in deed. A good gift for a real wanker.
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Amazing110 months, 1 week ago
Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not watching me. They try to be sneaky, but the remote control for my CD player is the decoder for it all. I know it's all a plot, but I have given up on tin foil hats. They are not nearly as effective as the styrofoam pieces that came inside the CD player box. I tie them onto my head and find that whenever I got out in public, people are very polite. People seem to know that I should be respected if my styrofoam head gear is in place.
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