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"Consent." »

Posted by: ind06 3 months, 2 weeks ago

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Before having sex, always make sure you have protection. Legal protection. Sign here for the lawyer-laden world of modern intimacy and give your Consent.

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Comments So Far: 40

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ind063 months, 2 weeks ago

And this is why the new field of sexual contract law is such a booming business.
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  BronxBomber3 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  Whomever said: "talk is cheap" never hired a lawyer...
  :o/
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grungeplunge3 months, 2 weeks ago

Hilarious! ROFL
Thanks for sharing.
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  ind063 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  :)
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ETproductions3 months, 2 weeks ago

Darn, man. By the time I get through all that, the Viagra's worn off!
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  ind063 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  Besides Viagra makes it so you can't read the fine print!
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    ETproductions3 months, 2 weeks ago
    
    Yeah, but I'm just going to do it till I need glasses. :)
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    Beau78903 months, 2 weeks ago
    
    I didn't know that about Viagra--I thought if you couldn't arrive at a contract suitable to both parties, you'd go blind.
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  Rinty3 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  ET: Are you sure you are using it right...
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Beau78903 months, 2 weeks ago

That Article XX is a deal-breaker in my book. Take it out, and we'll have to talk about Articles XIII through XIX.
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Mdiar3 months, 2 weeks ago

I had to send this link to my ex.
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rdy2rck3 months, 2 weeks ago

PMP(Pee my Pants)
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uncle-dave3 months, 2 weeks ago

They say love is grand. Apparently if you stray outside the parameters of the contract it could cost you a couple hundred grand!
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  Rinty3 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  Geez Uncle Dave...that's only lawyers fees.
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ind063 months, 2 weeks ago

Really worth reporting!
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pfestus3 months, 2 weeks ago

I make all partners sign a contract to verify consent before having sex with anyone.
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Shadowolf3 months, 2 weeks ago

...the ultimax in Rubber Checks...
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  BronxBomber3 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  Perhaps it will make this economy bounce right back!
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Beeboppin713 months, 2 weeks ago

I wonder what the retainer is to have a personal attorney handy every time you get horny. I don't think that I can afford to have sex anymore. :(
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  Rinty3 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  BB71: Never give up...just tell the lawyers to pronk off...that's what 'they' do for a living.
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  Beau78903 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  Bee, I'm not an attorney, but I do have a bit of experience with contracts. I'd be happy to give you advice. Don't worry about payment--I'm sure we can work something out.
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    Beeboppin713 months, 2 weeks ago
    
    While I'd be willing to consider your offer, I feel that's it's necessary to inform you upfront that I never do Article XX without a huge diamond and a signed marriage contract. Non-negotiable!
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      Beau78903 months, 2 weeks ago
      
      Then we may have to renegotiate XIII through XIX. As well as everything under subsections (f) and (q).
      And as for your specifications under paragraph 306: res ipsa loquitur.
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        Beeboppin713 months, 2 weeks ago
        
        Renegotiate?! We never negotiated in the first place. Listen love, you seem like a really nice guy and all but I think I'll go it alone for now. It's less complicated and it's FREE!!!
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        Beau78903 months, 2 weeks ago
        
        I can understand your hesitation to put yourself into a binding agreement. And I guess another advantage to going it alone is that you'll be beyond the reach of the long arm of the law.
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      uncle-dave3 months, 2 weeks ago
      
      There was a time when a deal like that could be consummated with a six pack and a pint of gin.
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        Beeboppin713 months, 2 weeks ago
        
        Ahhh! The good old days!
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protoham3 months, 2 weeks ago

lol that was good
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HanymanComment removed: User banned.4 Replies
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  TheRealizer3 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  If romance isn't dead, I'm sure the contractual obligations will severely wound it.....
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  3 Replies
  - HanymanComment removed: User banned.2 Replies
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      BronxBomber3 months, 2 weeks ago
      
      Do they're lawyers double as voyeurs?
      Reply
      1 Reply
      - HanymanComment removed: User banned.
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icono13 months, 2 weeks ago

Position 13 is a no go?!!!!?
ROTFLMAO x 3
Was there a STD disclaimer in there?
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uncle-dave3 months, 2 weeks ago

Position 13 is a no go, icono1, because that position would negate the safeguards provided by the bio-hazard suits that must be worn according to the addendum to paragraph 19b that starts with "Under no circumstances will circus animals or dwarfs...."

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  BronxBomber3 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  13 is sooooo Pronk!
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    Mdiar3 months, 2 weeks ago
    
    Yeah, but 11 is pronkalicious!
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KYRed3 months, 2 weeks ago

Okay, Honey. May I call you Honey? Would you sign a declaration that I may do so on this encounter? Okay. Good. Now I am wanting to put my arm around your shoulder. Are you okay with that? Will you sign this consent form for this action at this date and time. Uh, yes, my left arm. Yes, that's right, Honey. Uh, will you sign a declaration that it is okay for me to call you Honey at this stage of our encounter? Okay, great. Now, may I kiss you lovely mouth with a bit of tongue at this time? Okay. Great. But, please sign this consent form for me for this act to take place at this time and date. Oh, hell. Just rape her.
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  BronxBomber3 months, 2 weeks ago
  
  Rape her? Then you'll really need a lawyer.
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Shadowolf3 months, 2 weeks ago

...and before they even got started,her lawyer was doin' his lawyer...
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