Popular Videos

McCain To Replace Secret Service With His Bare Fists
This story has mostly positive ratings. 138 votes / 1 sink

McCain To Replace Secret Service With His Bare Fists

Popular Videos – THE ONION NEWS NETWORK - John McCain claims that if elected he would save the taxpayers millions by eliminating the Secret Service and kicking some all by himself.

Tags: SATIRE, Dont Make Him Angry, You Wouldnt Like Him, When Hes Angry

Report

Filter Comments ›
1 - 32 of 32 Comments by 23 members  RSS Feed for comments

1

Add Comment
avatar
Reply

McCain was rushed from the stage as his upper body appeared to swell, ripping open his shirt and exposing skin some witnesses called "greenish". As he was taken from the hall, Senator McCain was heard to roar, "McCain SMASH!"

avatar
Reply

McCain's latest press release includes asking the Fantastic Four to police Iraq (saving us roughly $225 billion a year), Batman and Wonder Woman to take over in Afghanistan (the Bat Plane and WW's invisible jet will replace the Air Force and Navy jets), and Aquaman to replace the SEALs.

Now, if we could just get Tony Stark to fly CAP over Korea...

Great story, Ind06!

avatar
Reply

But wonder woman would have to wear one of those awful black head -to-toe burkas.

avatar
Reply

But it would be a SKIN TIGHT black head to toe burka! YOW!

avatar
Reply

I think if McCain and his wife, Cruella De Vil, team up with Chuck Norris they could really cut the Secret Service budget in half.

avatar
Reply

That crew could cut 'anyone' in half and enjoy it.

avatar
Reply

I ain't gonna mess with him. he ought to be in movies or wrestling.LOL

avatar
Reply

McCain's tough unless his opponent throws an overhand punch at him. He can't block those.

avatar
Reply

Ouch! (:^D)

avatar
Reply

Jungle?---I think I see Predator 3, 4 and 5 here.

avatar
Reply

Hahahahahaaahaaahaha.

Naked and a knife. Hell he'd scare Obama to death. LOL

I remember putting a cigarette out in the palm of my hand when some punks were talking trash. They looked at me like I was crazy and kind of eased away. LOL

avatar
Reply

Even without the knife, the idea of seeing McCain naked scares the hell out of me.

avatar
Reply

CBGP: "I remember putting a cigarette out in the palm of my hand when some punks were talking trash."

I did that once, too. 'Course, the punk still had it in his mouth when I did it. (:^o)

avatar
Reply

OK I do not want to see a naked McCain with a knife in the jungle . . . please tell me this won't be televised. :~/

avatar
Reply

I like his Idea for white house security, the sharp sticks and wires should make him feel at home. ;-)

avatar
Reply

Goes to show you...all b@llz and NO brains leads to an early grave.

avatar
Reply

LOL

At his age there is no early grave!

avatar
Reply

He couldn't get into it soon enough to suit me!

avatar
Reply

This is great comedy. I like it.

avatar
Reply

Well let me tell you I wouldnt want to be the one to cross that guy! LOL

avatar
Reply

Take that George W, you friggin draft dodging weenie!

avatar
Reply

Funny, be sure to duck when he throws those soggy depends at ya!

avatar
Reply

Is Obama gonna replace his secret service with his former coke dealers protection?

Is Hillary going to replace her secret service with her thighs and calves?

avatar
Reply

Awe, isn't someone angry!

avatar
Reply

Neocons usually are..

avatar
Reply

It's called "Wisdom envy." None of his heroes seem to have any.

avatar
Reply

I also notice they have no gray matter to speak of...

avatar
Reply

Go Johnny Go! Be sure to drink your Ensure!

avatar
Reply

McCain=senile

avatar
Reply

Funny stuff

avatar
Reply

Thank you for send invited massages to me for read this post.

avatar
Reply

Massages? Hey Indy you old stud you!

;oD

1

Add Comment

You must log in first to post a comment. Secure Signin

Not a member? Sign-up today!


Who voted on this story?

View all (130) »

Who sunk this story?

Channels
AnchorsArt & DesignAutos
BooksCareers & JobsCelebrities
Do No EvilDo-It-YourselfFamily
FoodGadgets & TechGay & Lesbian
Health & FitnessHumorLove & Personals
MenMoneyMovies
MusicNewsPets
PoliticsPopular VideosReal Estate
ReligionScienceShopping
SportsTelevisionTravel
VideoVideo GamesWomen