McCain To Replace Secret Service With His Bare Fists »
Posted by: ind06 2 months, 3 weeks ago32 CommentsReflectReport this Story
THE ONION NEWS NETWORK - John McCain claims that if elected he would save the taxpayers millions by eliminating the Secret Service and kicking some all by himself.
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Comments So Far: 32
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ind06
May 6, 2008, 10:11 p.m.McCain was rushed from the stage as his upper body appeared to swell, ripping open his shirt and exposing skin some witnesses called "greenish". As he was taken from the hall, Senator McCain was heard to roar, "McCain SMASH!"
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TemplarScribe
May 7, 2008, 9:48 p.m.McCain's latest press release includes asking the Fantastic Four to police Iraq (saving us roughly $225 billion a year), Batman and Wonder Woman to take over in Afghanistan (the Bat Plane and WW's invisible jet will replace the Air Force and Navy jets), and Aquaman to replace the SEALs.
Now, if we could just get Tony Stark to fly CAP over Korea...
Great story, Ind06!
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Uncle Dave
May 6, 2008, 11:09 p.m.I think if McCain and his wife, Cruella De Vil, team up with Chuck Norris they could really cut the Secret Service budget in half.
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rdy2rck
May 6, 2008, 11:54 p.m.I ain't gonna mess with him. he ought to be in movies or wrestling.LOL
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ETproductions
May 7, 2008, 1:37 a.m.McCain's tough unless his opponent throws an overhand punch at him. He can't block those.
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cowboygrandpa
May 7, 2008, 3:42 a.m.Hahahahahaaahaaahaha.
Naked and a knife. Hell he'd scare Obama to death. LOL
I remember putting a cigarette out in the palm of my hand when some punks were talking trash. They looked at me like I was crazy and kind of eased away. LOL
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TemplarScribe
May 7, 2008, 9:52 p.m.CBGP: "I remember putting a cigarette out in the palm of my hand when some punks were talking trash."
I did that once, too. 'Course, the punk still had it in his mouth when I did it. (:^o)
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2sidestoeverything
May 7, 2008, 10:56 a.m.OK I do not want to see a naked McCain with a knife in the jungle . . . please tell me this won't be televised. :~/
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globalwarmer
May 7, 2008, 12:10 p.m.I like his Idea for white house security, the sharp sticks and wires should make him feel at home. ;-)
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BronxBomber
May 7, 2008, 12:15 p.m.Goes to show you...all b@llz and NO brains leads to an early grave.
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itsme2
May 7, 2008, 1:14 p.m.Well let me tell you I wouldnt want to be the one to cross that guy! LOL
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newbie0420
May 7, 2008, 3:42 p.m.Is Obama gonna replace his secret service with his former coke dealers protection?
Is Hillary going to replace her secret service with her thighs and calves?
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