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Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass' »

Posted by: ind06 2 months ago

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Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.

Read Full Story at theonion.com

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Comments So Far: 45

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ind062 months ago

The Court also ruled that they were henceforth collectively to be called "The Kings Of Law" after which they moonwalked from the chamber.
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  CrawfordBizDev2 months ago
  
  gnarly dude. totally bitchin'.
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truthiness2 months ago

"less strictly constitutional and more strictly awesome"

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truthiness2 months ago

I still say the Stocks was the best punishment ever
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  ind062 months ago
  
  Wicked!
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    icono12 months ago
    
    A true classic.
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      uncle-dave2 months ago
      
      Like Gin and Tonic!
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        icono12 months ago
        
        Truly.
        Glad you mentioned that fine representative mixture of our society.
        I think I'll have one now.
        
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        uncle-dave2 months ago
        
        Open the Bombay doors!
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        icono12 months ago
        
        Consider it done.
        The shot glass is armed and ready to deliver the package on target.
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        uncle-dave2 months ago
        
        Bombay away!
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        ind062 months ago
        
        [Uncle Dave drops away whipping his Stetson in the air as he rides a massive bottle of Bombay gin to ground zero] "Yeeeee Haaaww!'
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        cowboygrandpa2 months ago
        
        ind06:
        LMAO
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        uncle-dave2 months ago
        
        The proper head gear to wear when riding a bottle of Bombay into oblivion is a Bowler!
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        ind062 months ago
        
        Can you still whip it in the air yelling "Yeee Haaawww!"?
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        uncle-dave2 months ago
        
        You can whip it in the air but you must yell, tallyho!
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        icono12 months ago
        
        Flight Strangelove to control;
        Bowler delivered on 'mark time 'P Sellers'' over target 'Bombay Shot Glass'.
        Drop successful. 'Bowler waving hat' and yelling "tallyho" at passing flight of geese. Geese honked back in Geese-ESE. Unable to translate Geese-ESE because Geese translator is bombed out of his wits at the moment.
        Returning to base Margaritaville via Cancun for 'refueling' and refitting of Gin-Bombs.
        ETA sometime in the near future if applicable.
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    y_soitenly2 months ago
    
    Holy Sh1t!
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  cowboygrandpa2 months ago
  
  Yeah!!! Especially when they fall as fast as they have. LOL
  Oh wait. I see the other stocks. Yeah they were a hit with vegetable vendors as well, they got rid of their rotten veggies and sill made money. LOL
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uncle-dave2 months ago

If baseball teams can wear "throwback" uniforms why can't we have throwback executions, The Halifax Gibbet, Impalement and the ever popular Wheel. Call me old fashion but nothing says execution like a good old Quartering!

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  ind062 months ago
  
  Isn't there some way we could digitize quartering? You know, bring it into the new millennium? An old-fashioned quartering would be so slooooow!
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    icono12 months ago
    
    Quarting was one of the favorites of the people, both common and of royal blood, back in the day.
    Digitized quartering...... works for me.
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    uncle-dave2 months ago
    
    Yes we can bring quartering into the digital age!
    From this day forward the condemned shall be PIXELATED!
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      icono12 months ago
      
      To cool!
      I wanna a copy of the program.
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        uncle-dave2 months ago
        
        Please contact New Age Executions for your free download of Pixelexecution 2.0
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        ind062 months ago
        
        And all you wardens out there, be sure to pick up your new 300 GB iChair!
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  chevydog2 months ago
  
  The happy signs!
  BARBARIC! BLOODTHIRSTY! BADASS!
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BronxBomber2 months ago

I would say that we should take a page out of the Dark Ages, and reinsert "The Rack"..but that would be a stretch....
:o/
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  ind062 months ago
  
  that would be just like going to the chiropractor...
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    uncle-dave2 months ago
    
    Only more intense.
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      ind062 months ago
      
      The intensopractor! Now in High Definition!
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  cowboygrandpa2 months ago
  
  BB;
  Flogging might make a come back. Of course we'd have to educate the floggers how to wield their flogging tools. LOL
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    ind062 months ago
    
    There's plenty of people that know how to give a good flogging. We'll just call Madame Whippersnapper. She's very disciplined!
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      ind062 months ago
      
      Excuse me! I mean, her CLIENTELE are very disciplined!
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        truthiness2 months ago
        
        if we were disciplined we wouldnt need the floggin
        
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        truthiness2 months ago
        
        THEY! if THEY were disciplined THEY wouldn't need the floggin.. yeah that's the ticket.
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    chevydog2 months ago
    
    One of the signs that hung around our office was "The floggings will be eliminated when morale improves."
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      truthiness2 months ago
      
      you worked in Madame Whippersnapper's office?
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chevydog2 months ago

Maybe we could add some stylish foreign executions. Turkey used garrotting. And Russia used to saw people in half using a taut rope--sort of a split decision.
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  ind062 months ago
  
  Mmmm, I love roasted potatoes and garrottes in Turkey drippings!
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    uncle-dave2 months ago
    
    Ah, the old Turkey drippings torture! Haven't seen that one in awhile.
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hefaa12 months ago

I miss "Ole Sparky" the electric chair.
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Charlson2 months ago

Maybe they ought to make the death penalty applied with the "waterboarding to death" method?
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hefaa12 months ago

ind06,
You could start a flogging blog.

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  chevydog2 months ago
  
  Say that three times quickly.
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